I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
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