Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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