if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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