The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
