Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
