i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I love you. Go after that dick
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
