Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Life is so much better after having sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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