Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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