Dual....:-)
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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