Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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