the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
