i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
