And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
