conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
