i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I need moral support for this bender
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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