So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
