I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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