you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just found a bag of teeth...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
