Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
