i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
