the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
