The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
