yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
