I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
