i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
