Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
