it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
