I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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