THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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