I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize