We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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