Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
