I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
