if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Quick, to the slutcave!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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