Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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