And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize