five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
