i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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