What did we do last night that was yellow?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
