I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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