just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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