I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
