you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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