Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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