Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize