I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
