i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize