To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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