I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize