I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
