I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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