I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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