There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
