There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
