Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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