Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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