i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize