If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
