There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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