oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
