I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
