Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize