There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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