oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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